“How to Win Friends and Influence People” written by Dale Carnegie
The primary publish of this book was in 1937, with only five thousand limited edition. But due to its quality, this book has been releasing a new version after a new version. Reading through this influential book, we face one important principle for each chapter. The principle has a different purpose for each part, with one different principle for each chapter.
Chapter one, Principle one.
‘Don’t criticise, condemn or complain.’
We cannot make real changes by criticizing people. From experiment to animals, comparing two animals that have received different approaches; an animal that receives punishment from bad behavior and the other animal that received awards from good behavior. The animal that received awards learnt faster than the other animal, which was getting criticized. Thus, con Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do. That’s a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance, and kindness. “To know all is to forgive all.”
Chapter two, Principle two.
‘Give honest and sincere appreciation.’
To make someone do things for you, there is only one thing that you can do to make them do so. To give them what they want. But how do you know what the other person wants? There are many wants, for example, money, food, and even sex. These are gratified desires, but there is one thing that all human wants. “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated,” as William James says, the appreciation and honesty is what people need to give to make someone do things for you.
Chapter three, Principle three.
‘Arouse in the other person an eager want’
For example your favorite food is sushi. Awesome choice, I like it too. Now, if there was a time that you will go fishing. Would you use the sushi as the fishing bait? No, no you wont. Because that is what you like and not what the fish wants. “Of course, you are interested in what you want. But no one else is. The rest of us are just like you: we are interested in what we want.” Thus, think what you want is what the other people want. Give the person what they want, not what you want.